School girl memories

I was at a British boarding school, Badminton in Bristol. I was staying at my grandmother's just before returning to school and then on the BBC, came news of a plane crash. The face of one of my school friends was there on the television and I remember how shocked I was to see Debbie featured, as one of the survivors. Her father, like mine was a diplomat and their family were based in Addis Ababa. I was also 12 years old and frequently flew back and forwards to my parents for the school holidays.

I didn't know any more of what happened and the adults around me didn't seem to understand why I wanted to know or how important this was to me. I didn't know where Debbie was or how badly injured she was. I knew lots of people had died and that it was a terrible, terrible accident. Nobody said very much.

Of course when I was back at school, all the other girls in our year group, were also worried and curious and shocked. Debbie's uncle came to one of our school assemblies and he explained that the plane had crashed at the end of the runway and burst into flames. We were told that Debbie had been very brave and had burn injuries. We were also told that her friend who was sitting next to her on the plane had died. We were instructed then, that when Debbie was well enough to come back to school, we should not ask her any questions about the crash. We were told not to talk about amongst ourselves either.

We were boarding school girls and we had plenty of practice, at not talking about difficult subjects and not talking about our feelings. Certainly this was my reality and I had no adults around who could help me make sense of any of this or how I felt.

Debbie returned to school weeks later, still recovering and carried on as usual. I thought how brave she was and I longed to ask her more but daren't do so, because I didn't want to upset her.

When the end of term came, I wasn't particularly frightened of flying but neither did I forget that my friend had survived a plane crash. I wanted to know what happened. I wanted some certainty.

It was more than curiosity. It was almost a feeling of bewilderment or incomprehension and in fact it stayed with me all my adult life. A few years ago, I even searched on the internet for more information - I could not find anything useful. It remained another unsolved puzzle and I couldn't help wondering what exactly happened not just to Debbie but also to everyone else involved.

Then one day, I was going to work in the car and as usual I had the radio tuned to BBC radio 4. I wasn't aware of what program I was listening to when I heard Harriet Ware-Austin describing her life in Ethiopia. It immediately reminded me of Debbie and the crash; then to my amazement, Harriet went on to speak of her experience as an 8 year old watching as the plane carrying her two sisters, crashed at the end of the runway. I felt a surge of emotion as I realised that one of her sisters, Caroline was the friend who Debbie had sat next to on the plane. I heard of Harriet's family tragedy at losing both Jane and Caroline and of course she talked also of the loss of so many other adults and children in that plane crash. When I arrived at work, I could not leave the car. I listened to the end of the program, with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Part of me felt a fraud. I felt that I didn't have the right to cry but I couldn't stop - it unleashed feelings that had remained buried for so many years -I didn't know any of the families who had lost loved ones and my friend had survived. Yet the anguish I felt, over this terrible tragedy was real. I had known since the age of 12, that many people had died and many people had suffered. As a child whose imagination worked overtime, I had been left to guess and it was not a good thing. Back in 1972, I had wanted to cry and I had wanted to grieve and even to be afraid. But I couldn't. Now finally as an adult, I had my opportunity and selfish though it felt, at last I shared proper knowledge of what that horror was, that had unfolded in the lives of the unsuspecting passengers, crew and their families.

I am so grateful to Harriet for telling her story. It brought some closure to the part of me that had always wanted to find out more. Every post on this website, brings me to tears as I read your stories. So many people sadly lost loved ones and others suffered terrible injury. I am amazed at your survival and I salute your resilience. We were with you in spirit on that tragic day back in April 1972, even those of us who were young. We knew and understood little, yet it affected us and I for one, will never forget.